found drama

I.

We’re having a party at the house.  I look out front and those tire tracks are back.  And there are way too many cars parked in the driveway.  I rush out there to see what’s going on.  There is someone I don’t recognize changing his oil in the driveway, his car half hanging out into the yard.  The tire tracks are definitely from him.  I confront him, ask him to get lost, to leave and never return.  He ignores me.  I go inside and call the police.  When the police show up, they claim not to be able to see him.  Or any of the other cars.  The man changing his oil just laughs at me.  I try to grab him but he twists away and swings at me with his wrench.  The police are just laughing.

II.

We are about to leave on some errands.  I jump into the bathroom to pee.  Mid-stream, the flow of urine bends upward and starts to collect on the ceiling.  The moment it stops, it all falls on me.  I cry out.  A. rushes in:  is everything OK?  No, of course not.  Then my glasses fall off and break.

About Rob Friesel