found drama

You’ve holed up in a small house with the rest of the survivors. You’re pretty sure that you can make the house safe, though you’re not sure for how long. The house sits in the middle of a pretty broad patch of grass, so the visibility is good, but you’re concerned about that one side of the house which has no windows. (It’s a blindspot, but what can you do about it now?) You get the kids upstairs and try to calm them down, to entertain them; everyone in the group takes turns going up there and supervising them, reading to them. (You found some toys and board games and got those spread out. You need to keep them distracted.) In the meantime, everyone in the group helps to fortify your position while there’s still sunlight.

But they start to come before the sun goes down.

They’re shambling out of the trees. A few of your group are still out there somewhere but it’s too late now. You can only hope that they’re able to fend for themselves. You bar the door. You shove every last bit of furniture across those breaches. You worry about that blindspot, about that one long wall with no windows. (You can hear them out there, but you can’t see them.) They start to pound on the door. They start to get that door open. You’re shooting conservatively, but you’re shooting. And then they get the door off its hinges.

The first wave looks like Walking Dead zombies, and/or Romero’s zombies. Then Zombieland zombies. Then they look like regular people who’ve put on make-up, or gotten into a fight. Then in-the-flesh characters from The Simpsons. The ones that finally breach look exactly like Statler and Waldorf.

About Rob Friesel