Through inexplicable humanitarian means, A. & I have acquired some kind of hybrid animal — a chimera that’s got the head of a Rottweiler and the body of sea lion (however, far more conveniently sized). The creature has the Rottweiler fur and needs to wear a wetsuit in order to keep the proper hydrodynamics for swimming. We feel bad for the little guy and find a sympathetic vet (we don’t have enough cash for the vet bills on a chimera such as this one) that happens to have a pool at the office. Our little guy is so happy in there, swimming. He becomes the attraction of the town that day and in no time at all, the pool is wall-to-wall people; A. & I are struggling to stay at the pool’s edge to keep an eye on him.
Eventually, the vet comes over and explains that he (the Rottweiler/sea lion chimera) will be fine. For the most part. We ask: “For the most part?” And the vet goes on to explain that our little guy has a deformed “nautiloid” tusk; it’s in-grown and deformed but if he doesn’t remove it, the tusk could cause some serious damage long-term. On the other hand, the procedure to remove the tusk isn’t without its own danger.
But we’ve never seen the little guy so happy — hopping out of the pool, panting, filled with puppy joy in a sea lion’s body. We need to talk this one over.