On your way home, you stopped off at the gas station to tank up. And while you’re there, you happened to notice that a truck was unloading Heady Topper. Because why not? you grabbed a four pack and paid for it when you paid for your gas. Only all of the cans were already open — not empty, just open.
We’ll just have to drink them fresh you think as you get back into your boat to sail home. There is a fog along the water so you steer gently through it, looking for landmarks and seeing occasional flashes from a lighthouse near your home. Then a whale breaches. Then it nudges the boat. It sees (??) your son aboard and nudges the boat again, coming a little higher out of the water with its giant whale lips pursed. It does this again and again. You try not to panic, but the whale keeps circling around planting whale kisses on the hull and desperate for someone’s affection.