found drama

get oblique

papa tomato says…

by Rob Friesel

New Years-ish fall-out… Missed the B’more folks. Missed them real bad. Had mimosas in yrsalls’ honor. /sigh

Content-ish post(s) to come. But for now (since all the cool kids are doing it):



Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence


You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.


The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell – The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 – Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful) High
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Very High
Level 6 – The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High
Level 7 (Violent) Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Very High
Level 9 – Cocytus (Treacherous) Low

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test


  • THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
    1. Rob
    2. Texture
    3. Fucking Rob F.
  • THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU’VE HAD
    1. texture303
    2. ### RobF
    3. RedAnarch
  • THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
    1. My memory isn’t impaired
    2. I tend to stick things out
    3. Once in a while, I make people laugh
  • THREE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
    1. Arrogance (it’s an affliction)
    2. Stubborn (and don’t tell me otherwise)
    3. I stray from my passions too easy… (even if only temporarily)
  • THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
    1. Bier
    2. Bratwurst
    3. Blauen auge
  • THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
    1. Getting my teeth knocked out
    2. Hydroplaning
    3. Bio-warfare
  • THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
    1. Coffee
    2. Water
    3. Wine
  • THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
    1. Monkey sweatshirt
    2. blue t-shirt
    3. flannel boxers
  • THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS AT THE MOMENT
    1. Boards of Canada
    2. Depeche Mode
    3. Death Cab for Cutie
  • THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT THE MOMENT
    1. “Fuck and Run” (Liz Phair)
    2. “There There” (Radiohead)
    3. “Turquoise Hexagon Sun” (Boards of Canada)
  • THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
    1. hanging drywall
    2. parsing XML w/ PHP
    3. wakeboarding
  • THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
    1. sense of humor
    2. scathing honesty
    3. someone who can cuss worse than myself
  • TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
    1. I am wearing pants
    2. I am writing
    3. I am not the messiah
  • THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE GENDER TO WHICH YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO THAT APPEAL TO YOU
    1. nicely shaped breasts
    2. nicely shaped butt
    3. nicely shaped smile
  • THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO
    1. influence the U.S.-Canada exchange rates
    2. cook anything that comes with directions
    3. rewrite history
  • THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
    1. turning records into mixes
    2. turning thoughts into novels
    3. turning my house into a home
  • THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BADLY RIGHT NOW
    1. drink a growler of Ridge Runner
    2. beat Neverwinter Nights’ “Chapter One Finale” with my monk character
    3. get my groove on at a good club
  • THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING
    1. web app programmer
    2. record shop owner
    3. novelist
  • THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
    1. Portugal
    2. Australia
    3. Germany
  • THREE KIDS’ NAMES
    1. Levi
    2. Maggie
    3. Junior
  • THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
    1. get published
    2. get slandered in the NY Times (or Washington Post)
    3. live in another country (hopefully as a result of #1 & #2)
  • THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
    1. my equipment is on the outside
    2. I like movie w/ explosions in them
    3. beer is in my blood, early and often
  • THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
    1. I have long hair
    2. I drive cautiously
    3. I look good in a little tight black number
  • THREE CELEB CRUSHES
    1. neal stephenson (if we’re talking that kind of crush)
    2. liz phair (if we’re talking *that* kind of crush)
    3. scarlet johansen (if we’re talking **that** kind of crush)

About Rob Friesel

Software engineer by day, science fiction writer by night. Author of The PhantomJS Cookbook and a short story in Please Do Not Remove. View all posts by Rob Friesel →

One Response to papa tomato says…

sarah says:

and smooches to *non* b-more, b-more folks if you know what i mean. and i totally forgot about that lovely liz phair song…it’s heading into my rotation…

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