Me & A.’s dad have gone to a Clutch concert together. Clutch has become a HUGE act. G&R huge. Filling stadiums huge. And the two of us are off to the show together. Our seats aren’t very good but that doesn’t matter very much. Because it’s not actually a concert. It’s a MMORPG version of a concert. With great graphics. And Clutch as the main act.
We find our seats OK and this young woman latches onto us almost immediately. We don’t try to attract her or anything. She just happened to be sitting next to us and decided to hang out. Frankly, she was a little aggressive about the whole thing but she bought beers for us, so it seemed alright by me (and A.’s dad, too).
What made the concert un-fun was a couple of things. First, it was a tour in support of their latest album. But all they were playing was cuts off their self-titled album. They played “Droid” twice in a row for crying out loud. (Or maybe it was just a hyper-extended jam version of “Droid”, I’m not sure.) The other major “un-fun” aspect of it was that since it was an MMORPG version of a concert, no one was really there to see the show. So instead of being surrounded by 30,000 Clutch fans, we were surrounded by 20,000 Level 4 Music Talent Agents and 10,000 Level 40 Drug Dealers.
It got old pretty quick.
So while we were trying to find our way out we noticed that the stadium was suspended on a giant balloon. (Think Castle in the Sky but with a giant hot air filled bladder under the stadium.) We managed to slip over the side at some point (pretty sure that the woman from the seat next to us sold us out somehow) and we found ourselves grasping on to whatever we could, trying not to plummet to our death. We knew that there was an entry point below the bladder (think Bespin from Empire Strikes Back) but getting their was a problem. Dangerous work, staying alive at a MMORPG Clutch concert…