found drama

get oblique

HELP WANTED: User Experience Researcher/Designer

by Rob Friesel

Job Type: Full-Time/Regular
Job Level: Mid-Career (2+ years)
Years of Experience: 10+ Years
Level of Education: BA/BS/MA/PhD/MFA/DDS

Job Description

Metavaprwaresoft.ly, a fast-growing VC-backed lean start-up, is seeking experienced, skilled, and passionate innovative interactive interface interaction designers who dive in head-first and seize challenging applications by the horns. We are looking for developers that blur the boundaries between web, mobile, mainframe CLI, and native design problems. You feel right at home in storyboard war rooms and can recite the Lean UX Design Research Manifesto by heart. If that sounds like you, then we want you as part of our team to help continuously iterate by designing, researching, analyzing, redesigning, refactoring, releasing, and integrating the user experience (“UX”) for our valuestream development “spike cycle”.

Your work here will positively impact the empowerment in the daily lives of millions and we will rely on your killer sense of style, your keen insight, and your on-going drive to innovate emergent themes while keeping our product pipelines fresh, relevant, and valuable to the nuclear core of our customer base. If you are the right candidate, relocation expenses may be irrelevant.

Experience and Skills

DON’T SHOW UP WITH ANYTHING LESS!! Here’s the war chest of tools we expect you to bring to the on-boarding:

  • A real-time updated portfolio that demonstrates not only a passion for user-centric design, but a passion for quality visual aesthetics.
  • Next-level expertise in best-of-breed rapid-prototyping tools (Balsamiq, WebZap, CompassStrap, jUnit, whiteboard and markers, literally a napkin with pencil & paper).
  • Maven-like grasp of bleeding-edge design trends and techniques.
  • Intimate knowledge of HTML11 and CSS4 fundamentals as they affect your bleeding-edge designs and device support.
  • Must be a member of the TC39, WHATWG, W3C, or CSS Working Group. Multiple memberships preferred. (Codepen.io account may be considered as a substitute.)
  • Experience with a variety of information architecture patterns and adept at articulating trade-offs and identifying the canonically correct approach based on bleeding-edge design trend biases.
  • 2000+ hours of remote user research testing experience.
  • Advanced comprehension of the general linear model, singular value decomposition, and chi square of eigenvectors as they relate to Map-Reducing real-user metrics into pie charts to demonstrate rigorous research findings.
  • Proficient at developing consummate visual concepts for web, mobile web, mobile apps, native iOS apps, native Android apps, Blackberry/RIM-platform emails, email, social media, social apps, social email, social games, micro-blogs, native desktop apps, and mainframe CLIs.
  • Ph.D. in Photoshop, Illustrator, Pixelmator, OmniGraffle, GIMP, TuxPaint, or Lightroom.
  • The ability to multitask and collaborate with a distributed, multi-continent, multi-timezone, multi-language cross-functional team under very tight deadlines while maintaining a sustainable Agile pace and positive attitude.
  • DevOps experience a plus!
  • Anal-retentive attention to minute details that borders on the DSM IV’s definition for obsessive-compulsive disorder.
  • Overwhelming desire to provide customers with designs that are at least adequately usable.
  • High comfort-level with frequent organizational pivots.
  • Excellent written and verbal communication skills. (Team members expected to write one novel or auto-biography every year!)
  • Advanced knowledge of HTML & CSS preprocessors (e.g., Jade, LESS, SASS, Stylus, Hamlet/Cassius/Lucius/Julius).
  • MS in Computer Science. (MA acceptable but we’ll need to talk about it.)
  • MFA in Graphic Design. (BA acceptable but portfolio must be killer!)
  • Ability to create award-winning user interfaces (UI) in-browser (more responsive mobile-first CSS3, less static images with text in them).
  • No fewer than 5 blog posts explaining monads. (At least one must have reached #1 on HackerNews.)
  • Must maintain at least 2 blogs.
  • Must have greater than 1000 Twitter followers.
  • Must have at least ten Dribbbles with 100+ fan heart favorite thingies.
  • Bonus points for growth-hacking experience!!
  • Strong JavaScript skills. (Must be able to explain closures in 5 seconds or fewer.)
  • Unicorn horn must extend minimum of 18 inches and be inlaid with gold.
  • Sophisticated knowledge of version control management (Git).
  • Can turn lead into gold. (Interview portion will test skills in alchemy.)
  • Eyes must be one-way mirrors.
  • Must be a good kisser.
  • Only Nobel Prize Winners considered.

If this sounds like you then click Apply Now below!

About Rob Friesel

Software engineer by day, science fiction writer by night; weekend homebrewer. Author of The PhantomJS Cookbook and a short story in Please Do Not Remove. View all posts by Rob Friesel →

4 Responses to HELP WANTED: User Experience Researcher/Designer

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*