found drama

get oblique

introducing Bruce

by Rob Friesel

Apparently, A & I got a new pet last night…:

Kinda fun to get woken up at 3am by a playful cat. Who just so happens to be playing with a bat. A bat that is doing donuts (for all intents and purposes) on your bedroom cieling.

Let’s say that we learned the HHGTTG lesson about towels very well last night. We might not have made it out alive w/o them. And that winged little bastard might still be in the house for that matter.

currently playing: Noise Unit “Inner Chaos”

UPDATE: In an effort to get the sequence of events more/less organized…:

  • 3:01am – or thereabouts, we are awoken by the loud thud of Stoli hitting the floor in the next room over. While it’s not unusual for him to get in to mischief, it is uncommon for him to get up on the desks in that room. Especially at this time of night. Seems odd and then…
  • 3:02am – …he comes bounding into the bedroom after some winged object that is now circling over our bed. A screams something and pulls the covers over her head. I try to lay very still and wonder how such a huge ass moth could have gotten into the house.
  • 3:03am – …how such as huge ass bird could have gotten into the house.
  • 3:04am – …no. No. No. That’s a bat.
  • 3:06am – This is a little too much for us to deal with and we carom out into the hallway and continue to watch that bastard circle the ceiling. A grabs a towel from the closet to cover herself.
  • 3:09am – Something has to be done. I grab an empty box from the next room and hold it up over my head. Like that’s going to help. I stand in the doorway of the bedroom and watch it circle and circle and circle…
  • 3:17am – I finally step into the room to try and… Catch it in the box? (Jeez, this idea just gets worse all the time, doesn’t it?)
  • 3:18am – The thing dive-bombs my head and I back off out of the room. A screams something again. We watch it circle some more. Stoli is jumping up and down on the bed trying to catch it, having the time of his life.
  • 3:22am – This is just too much. We time the circling (which is trickier than it sounds b/c it kept changing direction) and when we’re sure it’ll be on the far side of the room, slam the bedroom door shut. TRAPPED THE LITTLE BASTARD! TAKE THAT YOU LEATHERY WINGED LITTLE FUCKER!
  • 3:23am – We’re not sure what trapping it in the bedroom is really going to accomplish but hey – – that’s what tomorrow a.m. is for.
  • 3:26am – Fold out the couch. All our pillows and blankets are (naturally) in the bedroom. FUCK!
  • 3:29am – A remembers our “Burrito-bags” and fetches them from the basement.
  • 3:33am – We unfurl the Burrito-bags and lay down as if to sleep with some throw pillows. We talk about how this is easily the weirdest thing to happen to us. At least in a long time.
  • 3:48am – It’s hard to fall asleep when your heart is racing this much. Bats are kind of freaky, to be quite honest.
  • 3:57am – I think I finally fall back to sleep.
  • 4:01am – A screams out “OH MY GOD THERE’S TWO OF THEM!!!” because somehow the bat has escaped the bedroom and is now doing laps around the living room. Kitchen. Dining room. Living room.
  • 4:12am – We’re still cowering like little baby sheep. Stoli is on the unfolded sofa bed, jumping up and down, trying to catch the thing.
  • 4:16am – I make a break for upstairs and grab a towel.
  • 4:18am – I start swinging the towel at anything that moves. I’m surprised I didn’t wreck the place.
  • 4:27am – With a well-timed swing, I knock the thing out of mid-air onto our screened-in porch. And slam the door.

Can you believe all that? I wouldn’t either if I hadn’t taken pictures. And well … you know … had it happen to me.

currently playing: Everything But The Girl “Five Fathoms”

About Rob Friesel

Software engineer by day, science fiction writer by night. Author of The PhantomJS Cookbook and a short story in Please Do Not Remove. View all posts by Rob Friesel →

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