From The People That Brought You The Home Defibrillator
¶ by Rob FrieselFrom the “I’m glad someone did and I’m also glad it wasn’t me” file:
I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, “do it again, do it again!”
What happens when you Stun Gun yourself? Let’s be glad this guy can’t afford his own home defibrillator. He probably enjoys a good vagus nerve shock every now and then though.
Previously:
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