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From The People That Brought You The Home Defibrillator

by Rob Friesel

From the “I’m glad someone did and I’m also glad it wasn’t me” file:

I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, “do it again, do it again!”

What happens when you [tag]Stun Gun[/tag] yourself? Let’s be glad this guy can’t afford his own home [tag]defibrillator[/tag]. He probably enjoys a good vagus nerve shock every now and then though.

Previously:

About Rob Friesel

Software engineer by day, science fiction writer by night. Author of The PhantomJS Cookbook and a short story in Please Do Not Remove. View all posts by Rob Friesel →

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