found_drama

I’m at a small conference for technologies in renewable energy. It’s pretty standard fare for a convention center: drab, cool greys and warm beige tones, upholstery that is neither itchy nor comfortable, collapsable metal legs on tables and chairs. I’m here with a student contingent — all these faces that I recognize from high school but I only can remember one name (“Judy”). The teacher’s name completely blanks on me. We’re too old to be in high school. Each of us is presenting a paper there. Mine is on hard drive technology, calculated the smallest possible practical size, and power consumption reduction techniques. Our prof/mentor is the one with the big surprise paper. I sit through someone else’s presentation and I’m not too moved. I can’t remember what the topic was but I applaud politely. My turn. Of course there are technical problems. My prepped slideshow doesn’t load and I’m forced to put my notes down on the projector. They look different when my handwriting is five feet high. Suddenly my witty remarks and clever segues dissolve into mumbled excuses. Most of the contingent leaves to get lunch rather than witness my embarrassment. For whatever reason, the back wall of our room falls down to reveal a warehouse scene behind us. I get through my presentation but at the price of any respect they may have had for me.

I take my seat. Judy tries to convince me that I did fine. She doesn’t sound too convinced herself.

The prof skips over everyone else’s presentation and goes right into hers. CONTROVERSY! I biologically engineered plant that bears fuel cell seeds! I needs an aluminum rich soil apparently in order to have enough of that mineral to grow the shell. But the beauty is that the shell is recyclable and everything else is waste-free, biodegradable, and totally renewable! For some reason she offers to sleep with anyone that doubts her — for some reason that’s where the proof will be.

posted way after the fact:

I knew something was horribly wrong because of all the rope. More specifically, it was the rapelling and the rope. The part that was supposed to be training came in dream-like flashes within the dream. (Meta-dreaming? I don’t know.) Tom Ridge featured all too prominently in those early flashing portions. Almost as if his face (pallid and puffy as it already is) began to morph into that of a certain oil tycoon VP with every heavy breath. Then back again. However, since he came only in flashes, he was not the crux. More rapelling was where the fluid part of the dream superceded the previous broken flashes. Like giddy teardrops down floss, myself and a few others — a crack(ed?) team of special agents — did drop, Army Ranger rapelling style, our targets found and us prepared(?) to strike. Fear was in my heart. Well, adrenaline was in my heart and my amygdala was pinging *FEAR*FEAR*FEAR* away in my brain. (Fear being easily confused neurochemically w/ excitation — basically IS excitation but that’s another post altogether) Uzi(?) in hand did I seek my quarry. I seem to recall the urgent orders of my commanding officer and the grim feelings of apathy I was confronted with. Then confronted about. But this was not me somehow and even as I raced through the high-ceilinged room, Uzi(?) in hand and too much aware of the warehouse-esque atmosphere, I knew from some spot just above the kidneys and fanning outward that everything would be OK. Acutely aware was I of two things. First, the dream. Second, the mission. And so, since it was a dream I could complete my mission, even if (and perhaps because) I was not myself. And so I spotted my quarry. Front and center, weapon pointed (this was to be an assassination, wasn’t it?), I had him. And everything fell in according to the mission’s parameters. It was Alex Patterson masquerading as Lonnie Fisher. However, closer inspection revealed it was Lonnie Fisher masquerading as Paul Hartnoll. I had to let him go.

currently playing: Underworld “Cups”

1. Updated the Modus Ponens URL…
2. Added thewrongtim to the blogroll – - what an oversight that omission was!

Via Smart Mobs – there’s a petition going around to get Google to stop posting ads for essay writing services.

The ethics of this are a touch complicated, no? On the one hand you have the argument that this undermines education. Sure, OK. I’ll buy that. But where’s the free market? Is this the same thing as cigarette ads on TV or billboards?

currently playing: Liz Phair “Shane”

Via Sampo…

Put your iPod on random and ask each question before advancing to the next one.

• What do you think of me, iPod? Front Line Assembly “Infra-Red Combat”
• Will I have a happy life? Slickmick “Lecture”
• What do my friends really think of me? Boards of Canada “1969″
• Do people secretly lust after me? Peter Gabriel “Gracie’s Rapture”
• How can I make myself happy? Gorillaz “Tomorrow Comes Today”
• What should I do with my life? Faith No More “Ricochet”
• Why must life be so full of pain? Starecase “Sunshine”
• Will I die happy? Marcel Schonbrann “Maleta”
• Can you give me some advice? Underworld “Cowgirl”
• What do you think happiness is? Leuroj “Stickman”
• What’s my favorite fetish? Cevin Fisher “Music Saved My Life”

There was an infinite row of sexless clones at spare computer terminals all entering commands into a mysql prompt. Except that it was always secure text entry, all the time. The screens looked like: **************** They all had shaved heads except me. I had my hair. This one guy leaned over to tell me that the row was so long it wrapped around the world and that the row actually continued around in front of us as well. When I turned to look at him though, he was gone. Replaced with an identical twin who didn’t know what I was taking about. ****************

DAMN YOU JOHN!

1. First name? Rob
2. Were you named after anyone? Dad
3. Do you wish on stars? I wished on Peter Sellers once but all I got was a swift kick in the groin.
4. When did you last cry? When I wished on Peter Sellers.
5. Do you like your handwriting? My non-disclosure doesn’t allow me to discuss ownership of my handwriting. And now I’ve said too much.
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Delicious.
7. What is your birth date? November 6, 1XYZ … where Z = Y+(sqrt(X)-1)
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? This one through Bank of America that it really really under-performing right now.
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Oh hell no. My reputation preceeds me.
10. Do you have a journal? No.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? I prefer to think of it as “witty but scathing insight”.
12. What are your nicknames? Unless you know Big Roll, don’t ask…
13. Would you bungee jump? Bungee is for moving fool!
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I have specifically sought out shoes without laces to avoid answering this question.
15. Do you think that you are strong? Not compared to Galacticus.
16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Whisk(e)y.
17. Shoe size? See question 14 above.
18. Red or pink? Chartreuse!
19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? That I seem to be able to make time to do these but have a hard time making time for my novel writing most nights. Patron? Anyone? Bueller?
20. Who do you miss most? Biff – - Christ’s childhood pal
21. Do you want everyone who reads this to post it themselves? That would be such an incredible waste of human effort.
22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? I don’t wear pants.
23. What are you listening to right now? Massive Attack “Heat Miser”
24. Last thing you ate? Nachos
25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? They don’t make my color anymore – - FDA said it was toxic
26. What is the weather right now? The contextuality of this question bothers me – - so much stasis
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? A
28. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? I’ll give you a hint – - it rhymes with “orange”
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Only if he gets his ass up here on Thursday
30. Favorite drink? Whisk(e?)y
31. Favorite sport? Anything with a stick
32. Eye color? Glass
33. Do you wear contacts? Not since that nasty infection
34. Favorite food? Whisk(e?)y
35. Last movie you watched? The Jacket
36. Favorite Day of the year? Today is yesterday’s tomorrow
37. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? Porn
38. Summer or Winter? Heat Death of the Universe
39. Hugs OR Kisses? [EXPLETIVE DELETED]
40. What is your favorite dessert? Scotch
41. Who is most likely to respond? A
42. Who is least likely to respond? Me
43. Living arrangements? I’ve fashioned a shanty out of “eye spy” ads.
44. What books are you reading? Aside from technical tomes, it’s Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World
45. What’s on your mouse pad? Trackball!
46. What did you watch on TV last night? TV doesn’t receive channels but DVDs play on it from time to time
47. Favorite smells? Clean
48. Favorite sounds? Clean
49. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Boards of Canada
50. What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? Well, if you believe in dream travels, you are infinitely distant from home while still lying in your own bed. I’m still not sure if I believe in this. They sure seem real but none of my souvenirs survive the waking-up process.
51. Do you have a special talent? This isn’t the appropriate forum to discuss those sorts of thing.

1. Interesting(?) piece from creativebits presenting the “Desk” concept as a replacement for/amalgamation of the Finder & Desktop concepts. The problems I had with it are that it’s not readily apparent “out-of-the-box” what it is or what it’s for. First I just eyed the graphic like “WTF is this?” Then I watched the video. And I still didn’t fully get how it would replace the Finder or the Desktop. Of course, the comments on the site read “brilliant” and “fantastic” but there’s a lot of gaps in there…
   • 1st– I know 2 kinds of computer users – - the kind that put everything on their Desktop and periodically purge and (2) the type that are compulsively organized and never let things touch their Desktop w/o careful consideration. In traditional Intro Psych courses these folks are usually referred to as “Type B” and “Type A” (respectively) – - and skill level w/ the PC seldom has anything to do with these habits. *** DISCLAIMER: the previous statement is based strictly on anecdotal evidence ***
   • The principal iconography used in the Desk concept borrows so heavily from the existing Finder that the immediate question is: WHAT’S DIFFERENT? Adding core/native Project functions for Type A and core/native Clipboard functions for Type B folks? Type A folks already have compulsive organised “~” directories (thanks to Finder’s hierarchical navigation) and Type B folks already have a place to clutter in their binge/purge cycles (thanks to Desktop’s “drop it here” ethos).
   • Recent Searches? Yawn.
   • I still don’t see how the “obscured desktop” problem is to be solved by the “Desk” concept.”
2. Then there was ongoing’s “Mac Mini for Mom” bit which I found particularly insightful. Especially since I’d been recently turning over these thoughts… UI concepts are fascinating to me on several levels. On the one hand there’s this idea of building metaphors that ought to be universal enough that anyone can pick up on them – - and somehow the fact that we even refer to them as “metaphors” draws on this lineage that we’re drawing comparisons between PC use and “real world” objects, tools, tasks, and routines. And on the other hand, there’s this acknowledgement that not everyone will buy the same metaphors. (My favorite being how Windows has “Program Files” and every non-tech user seems to think that all you need to do to run an app is copy it from one box to another…) And but now where was I? Ongoing!
   • re: “What Worked” – - there aren’t too many surprises there… After all, aren’t these apps designed to “just work”? On that hardware? The comments on the Dock were a shock though. It’s been my experience that new users, esp. users switching from the Windows realmn not only hate the Dock but … just … don’t … get it. (Not that anyone can blame them. What w/ its inconsistencies and all.)
   • re: “Closing Things” – - to anyone that’s tried to work w/ “a Switcher” this is a familiar lament. “Cmd+Q” or “Application > Quit Application” is a totally unfamiliar concept to anyone who is accustomed to just one-(maybe two)-clicking out of any app. Where’s the simplicity in that? And try explaining the difference between closing windows vs. quitting applications. Not easy when the perception is: “Well what do I want the application open for if I’ve closed all of documents?”
   • re: RSS & NetNewsWire – - this is extra-geek territory for another 5 years at least. Even for tech-savvy moms.

currently playing: Doves “Darker”

Via dystopianethic:

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what’s the first thing you look at? My chipped tooth.
2. How much cash do you have on you? I just got back from Gibson’s Chiba where cash is already illegal.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with “TEST”? [EXPLETIVE DELETED]
4. Favorite plant? In- or outdoor?
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? I only have 2 missed calls – - but if it went back further – - probably A or work.
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? Vibrate.
7. What shirt are you wearing? Does a robe count as a shirt?
8. Do you “label” yourself? Federal and state laws require me to clearly post both proof and active ingredients.
9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing? Barefoot doesn’t count as shoes.
10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? I think he better get his ass up here.
12. Do you know what an 8-track is? Context……?
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching Six Feet Under and drinking Dalmore. And hoping that the damn work phone didn’t ring. Again. So soon.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? Thank you
15. Do you ever click on Pop-ups or banners? You’ll never know if you win the prize if you don’t click. HIT THAT MONKEY!! HIT IT!!!!!!
16. What’s a saying that you say a lot? That would be “I’m afraid I can’t comment on that at this time” or else “I’d rather just hang myself in the shower”. Sometimes together. Not always in that order.
17. Who told you they loved you last? Probably A but maybe Stoli. I lost my Meow-to-English dictionary.
18. Last furry thing you touched? I’m afraid I can’t comment on that at this time.
19. How many hours a week do you work? In office or out? Does time spent on-call count as work? Does commuting count as work? Does dreaming about helping co-workers dispose of bodies count as work?
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? 0
21. Favorite age you have been so far? Next year.
22. Your worst enemy? Real? Probably Richard Buckminster Fuller. Imagined? Reginald T. Butternut, attorney-at-law
23. What is your current desk top picture? a sketch of Harmony Anchorage (if you don’t know what that is, you can help me get published…)
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? “Wow – - that kid really is an idiot.”
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to erase all of your regrets, what would you choose? Definitely a million bucks. You can buy a lot of forgetting for a million bucks.

currently playing: Sasha & John Digweed “Live @ Simmons”